Nifty Over Fifty...Misadventures of Online Dating: Huh? You Gotta Be Kidding Me

Nifty Over Fifty...Misadventures of Online Dating: Huh? You Gotta Be Kidding Me: I was home sick today, yes I work in a High School and it is indeed that time of the year. Flu bugs are dancing in the halls, air and j...

Huh? You Gotta Be Kidding Me

I was home sick today, yes I work in a High School and it is indeed that time of the year. Flu bugs are dancing in the halls, air and just about anywhere you can imagine. Kids are stressed due to their finals, especially the Seniors.....and I too had three of the toughest finals of my college career. So for sure all of us are susceptible to anything lingering. 

Hummmm....how do I begin with this one? Neither of the men involved read this blog unless it is sent to them, so I feel fairly safe in posting the seedy details. I say that with pure satire, but an element of truth <evil grin>.

My last post was on the one year Anniversary of my husband's death....how I found love again and so on. Soppy, teary eyed post. Truth is, it was a tough weekend....and spent mostly alone. My current main squeeze did come that Friday, we had a lovely dinner, wine and I was occupied. In the back of my mind I was counting the minutes until 12:58 am, when I had to witness and talk my dear late husband into the next level of life. But Saturday and Sunday were beyond difficult. I don't do well alone....one of my weakest most annoying features. You see, my house has always been a house of delightful chaos. Always a lot going on.....now, it was dead quiet. I wasn't able to talk to anyone, just needed someone here. Both boys working, and yes, I do have four glorious hunting dogs...but those particular days, they sensed my mood and kept their distance. 

I do still hear from the good Doctor I was dating, the divine Dr. L....he travels the world, and texts from South America, the Caribbean, Norway....wherever he lands. His trip to Texas, or was it Mexico... he walked a mile every morning to find a hot spot which to text.

Long story short....we agreed to see each other just for a quiet friendly dinner as he had something he wanted to talk over with me. I agreed, as you see...the Divine Dr. L and I have had no more than a handshake and gentle pat on the back....he is a gentleman in the true sense of the word...funny, 6' 6" tall....I look like a munchkin next to him. He is delightful, and loves my jokes.

 Well, things had changed with the main squeeze....we have had a relationship of admiration, fun, six months of on again off again....growing pains. But we do love each other....that fact just had come out the night before. I was in a quandary....my dear daughter gave me some good advice, and I gave the divine Dr. L a call to let him know things had changed in the months he had been gone. 

This made him a bit sad but he agreed it best to not go to dinner, as what he had to tell me was a bit of a surprise.....to say the least. So...what does an intellectual do? They write. What ensued was a manifesto of emotion. One I had to read several times to understand, as I had NO IDEA....either I am more daft than I think I am, or I just didn't pay attention. So, that relationship is still a strong friendship, we go to breakfast at the crack of dawn, share Black Friday stories, and laugh a lot. However....those feelings which he wrote of are not apparent in person, other than the beautiful Poinsettia plant he gave me. 

The bottom line is to expect nothing. Many of the people you will meet online or otherwise have been through a lot of experiences....most not so good. The best advice I can give is to be patient, and whether or not any relationship pans out to be forever or not...I have had that. I have been blessed with three wonderful boys...well, 2.5 as one is still going through some life lessons. He'll learn! Don't depend on someone else to make our life complete, that is entirely up to you....

til next time.....lost in Neverland.

Nifty Over Fifty...Misadventures of Online Dating: One Year Anniversary

Nifty Over Fifty...Misadventures of Online Dating: One Year Anniversary: Today marks the one year anniversary of the death of my husband of 38 years. We had the blessing of 18 months to reflect, especiall...

One Year Anniversary

Today marks the one year anniversary of the death of my husband of 38 years. We had the blessing of 18 months to reflect, especially towards the end of his life. We had a rocky relationship, as I am not an easy person to live with. I am opinionated, stubborn, and don't always listen to reason....part of my makeup to buck the system and think outside the box. I don't conform to social norms, and my perspective deep according to those close to me. I tend to analyze the hell out of everything, instead of simply taking it for what it is. Now how would YOU like to live with that? Takes a patient person I guarantee you.

 In the end however, he understood......he told me how proud he was of me for rescuing all the wires for so many years, and he was a part of the decision making. Never did I ever remember him saying "let this one go" or not be concerned about their welfare. It was hard for him to go to shelters with me, as his heart just broke when he saw their confused eyes. He asked me never to take him again. When Peaches, a mama dog with pups came available...he was near the end of his life. I asked him what I should do...."is there any question?" Save them, bring them here....Peaches and her pups came in infected with distemper...which we soon found out. The short time we had them, they were loved.

I learned a lot in the past year, had so much support from family and friends, and so very blessed. I have met new people, established some extraordinary relationships. And deepened the ones already existing. I have learned initially to deal with memories not so good, and let them go. Focusing on the good is necessary for the healing of ones heart. And I promise you, when you are able to look at the big picture, there were those ten fold. The loss taught me to never take those close to you for granted. 

The one thing he persisted on was that I move on, meet a nice person to share my life with. He cared that much and derived peace with my promise to do so. I remember that night too well, and when he went into cardiac arrest talking him into letting go. It was his time, and we were all so tired......my children were involved daily with his care, and they too were stressed to the limit. 

When I decided to move on and write this blog, it was for self preservation. What started to be a funny journey....and it had moments of pure hilarity, turned into a blog of transformation. 

Take another shot....the camera of life. I did......how I found the courage to do so wasn't at the forefront of my decision. It was the extreme loneliness, a void no amount of travel or talking could fill. I saw and still see a grief counselor, she is a gift. While I went in kicking and screaming....has now evolved into a forever friendship. And I have found love once again....I love people, life, and to be happy. I can feel again, and the numbness is gone. I met a wonderful man that is the most caring individual on the planet, and we are just alike in so many ways...and extremely different in others. He is logical/pragmatic...I am, well....kinda a free spirit that doesn't always think things through.AND he is intelligent, neither of us can relate to many.... He has been the logical voice of reason and know he will always be truthful and honest. And he is patient.....and another most important factor, he LOVES my dogs. The feeling is mutual, as they dance at the mere sight of him. I simply don't exist when he is around....which is fine.

So blessed I am at this time of my life.....so very blessed. When all looked so grim and dismal, in walks one of the most loving persons I have ever known.  Do I think Stan had a hand in it all? Why yes I do....where ever he is, he is watching from time to time. And I know he is smiling in approval....he can now move on too, to enjoy whatever is out there beyond this big blue planet. We are all okay, his job done. His old dog is doing well for her 14 years of age, and she too has moved on. 

Embrace life....take another shot. 

Nifty Over Fifty...Misadventures of Online Dating: Gambling

Nifty Over Fifty...Misadventures of Online Dating: Gambling: This is my Papa in 1929....in front of my Grandfather's Speak Easy.....aka cover Barbershop on Walnut in downtown KC. Yes, it was a ...

Gambling

This is my Papa in 1929....in front of my Grandfather's Speak Easy.....aka cover Barbershop on Walnut in downtown KC. Yes, it was a sign of the times.....interesting albeit a bit vague, Papa shared enough to fit the pieces together, and did elaborate on his experiences as a child. His childhood wasn't the best, they traveled from city to city racing greyhounds on the circuit. I had Grandpa's bookie book....now THAT was an interesting piece of literature.

Gambling.....well, it can be an activity illegal or otherwise, and can be part of life. You take risks and gamble everyday even if you do not recognize it. Moving on with your life is a gamble, and some days is overwhelming or exhilarating depending on the circumstance. Embarking upon paths unknown takes courage, and I commend those that embrace it. I am like one of those scared children entering Kindergarten on the first day.....some rush in with vigor and vim, and some hang on to the parent's leg refusing to let go.

Maybe it is confusion on exactly "which" path to take, I do not have a lot of confidence in my choices, as I have been known to not choose wisely. So for today, I depend on myself to choose wisely. It's there in all of us, we just have to recognize it. Take a gamble, sometimes you win, other times you lose. There is no right or wrong, just lessons in this life.

Nifty Over Fifty...Misadventures of Online Dating: The Path

Nifty Over Fifty...Misadventures of Online Dating: The Path:   Lijah Henley's Photos Photo courtesy Of Lijah Henley . An incredible young man that has traveled with National Geographic since h...