I was home sick today, yes I work in a High School and it is indeed that time of the year. Flu bugs are dancing in the halls, air and just about anywhere you can imagine. Kids are stressed due to their finals, especially the Seniors.....and I too had three of the toughest finals of my college career. So for sure all of us are susceptible to anything lingering.
Hummmm....how do I begin with this one? Neither of the men involved read this blog unless it is sent to them, so I feel fairly safe in posting the seedy details. I say that with pure satire, but an element of truth <evil grin>.
My last post was on the one year Anniversary of my husband's death....how I found love again and so on. Soppy, teary eyed post. Truth is, it was a tough weekend....and spent mostly alone. My current main squeeze did come that Friday, we had a lovely dinner, wine and I was occupied. In the back of my mind I was counting the minutes until 12:58 am, when I had to witness and talk my dear late husband into the next level of life. But Saturday and Sunday were beyond difficult. I don't do well alone....one of my weakest most annoying features. You see, my house has always been a house of delightful chaos. Always a lot going on.....now, it was dead quiet. I wasn't able to talk to anyone, just needed someone here. Both boys working, and yes, I do have four glorious hunting dogs...but those particular days, they sensed my mood and kept their distance.
I do still hear from the good Doctor I was dating, the divine Dr. L....he travels the world, and texts from South America, the Caribbean, Norway....wherever he lands. His trip to Texas, or was it Mexico... he walked a mile every morning to find a hot spot which to text.
Long story short....we agreed to see each other just for a quiet friendly dinner as he had something he wanted to talk over with me. I agreed, as you see...the Divine Dr. L and I have had no more than a handshake and gentle pat on the back....he is a gentleman in the true sense of the word...funny, 6' 6" tall....I look like a munchkin next to him. He is delightful, and loves my jokes.
Well, things had changed with the main squeeze....we have had a relationship of admiration, fun, six months of on again off again....growing pains. But we do love each other....that fact just had come out the night before. I was in a quandary....my dear daughter gave me some good advice, and I gave the divine Dr. L a call to let him know things had changed in the months he had been gone.
This made him a bit sad but he agreed it best to not go to dinner, as what he had to tell me was a bit of a surprise.....to say the least. So...what does an intellectual do? They write. What ensued was a manifesto of emotion. One I had to read several times to understand, as I had NO IDEA....either I am more daft than I think I am, or I just didn't pay attention. So, that relationship is still a strong friendship, we go to breakfast at the crack of dawn, share Black Friday stories, and laugh a lot. However....those feelings which he wrote of are not apparent in person, other than the beautiful Poinsettia plant he gave me.
The bottom line is to expect nothing. Many of the people you will meet online or otherwise have been through a lot of experiences....most not so good. The best advice I can give is to be patient, and whether or not any relationship pans out to be forever or not...I have had that. I have been blessed with three wonderful boys...well, 2.5 as one is still going through some life lessons. He'll learn! Don't depend on someone else to make our life complete, that is entirely up to you....
til next time.....lost in Neverland.
No comments:
Post a Comment