Nifty Over Fifty...Misadventures of Online Dating: Writing and the New Year

Nifty Over Fifty...Misadventures of Online Dating: Writing and the New Year: Wow! Profound words. Maybe I am a writer at heart, because that describes how I live. Aside from eating and sleeping well, the rest fits...

Writing and the New Year

Wow! Profound words.
Maybe I am a writer at heart, because that describes how I live. Aside from eating and sleeping well, the rest fits. I look at my life as a whole, and this has always been. I am highly competitive, instilled from my upbringing. We were a family of over achievers, never second and if we were, we were reminded second doesn't count. I was second a lot. I couldn't compete with older siblings that were more fine tuned than I.
I still find myself competing....if not with someone else, myself. To be my personal best. Instead, I trip and fumble my way into most given situations these days.

I am realizing I am social, lack tolerance for those that do not ask questions, but make assumptions. I have trouble with those that don't see the big picture. To my merit however, the Divine Dr. L has pointed out my views are not unusual, and my empathy and caring for others in check. Those that need help I am always there for, and loyalty to a fault one of my assets. He also shares my views on exploitation of the human element. The lack of in-depth views of our society, many simply brush away to the side refusing to see. He and I are very much alike......

We went out recently and he asked me three questions I had no answer for. I came home confused and depressed, but now I see they were presented in a way to help me think, make myself halt the brushing away my lack of insight. This makes me realize I had no tolerance for myself either, so analyzing some things today.
The New Year is coming, just around the corner....do we all have our resolutions ready? I have my list, and intent to put them front and center. 2014 will be my year, even if it kills me which it may, but as Dear Mr. Hemingway put it above, at the very least I will know I am alive as I will be dead soon enough.

Nifty Over Fifty...Misadventures of Online Dating: Happy Holidays!

Nifty Over Fifty...Misadventures of Online Dating: Happy Holidays!: The Holidays are here, along with the weather. Kansas is one of those states that has two seasons, summer and winter. Along with this c...

Happy Holidays!

The Holidays are here, along with the weather. Kansas is one of those states that has two seasons, summer and winter. Along with this comes aches and pains one would wish to not acknowledge. Being 55 isn't what I had hoped for, was thinking a repeat of my thirties was expected. Ya think???? 

I took an exam on mental age, scored a 39 year old.....sometimes I feel like my kindergartners. Working with them for so many years, my mind works the way their's does. They are simple, honest, and ask a LOT of questions. I question myself mostly, have learned a lot about life in the past year. How men and women are so totally different. So much so I had to find my "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" book....and did purchase a book n the male mind. Wow....was that an eye opener. Well, I can't say I was totally surprised....my husband had warned me when we were talking about my future before he died. We married right out of High School, and neither of us dated much really. He was worried about me, as he knew he had done too much for me through the years. He did everything basically....and I mean everything.

Back to the future....

When thinking of relationships, I really don't know HOW to have one. I am finding myself confused on the mechanics of it all. Long, slow, getting to know one another is what I hear...but that's not me. I am feet first jumping in the fire. "Just do it!", is my motto on just about everything. One of my least endearing qualities....I learn this way. Rightly or wrongly, that's the way I roll. I could learn a lot from my dogs, if I would just stop to pay attention. I am looking at them sleeping away soundly, the old girl snoring. They are not concerned about the day at all. Just eat, sleep, and hang out. The weather is not the least of their worries, let it snow....ice everywhere, and I am stranded once again due to my middle son with the commute to work needing to use my 4x4 to get to work. 

Oh well, it is what it is.....there is much to do around here today. So making the most of it! The holidays are here!!! I am out of school til the 13th of January....so today is the day to dust off the old, and ring in the new. 2014 will be a better year!

Nifty Over Fifty...Misadventures of Online Dating: Huh? You Gotta Be Kidding Me

Nifty Over Fifty...Misadventures of Online Dating: Huh? You Gotta Be Kidding Me: I was home sick today, yes I work in a High School and it is indeed that time of the year. Flu bugs are dancing in the halls, air and j...

Huh? You Gotta Be Kidding Me

I was home sick today, yes I work in a High School and it is indeed that time of the year. Flu bugs are dancing in the halls, air and just about anywhere you can imagine. Kids are stressed due to their finals, especially the Seniors.....and I too had three of the toughest finals of my college career. So for sure all of us are susceptible to anything lingering. 

Hummmm....how do I begin with this one? Neither of the men involved read this blog unless it is sent to them, so I feel fairly safe in posting the seedy details. I say that with pure satire, but an element of truth <evil grin>.

My last post was on the one year Anniversary of my husband's death....how I found love again and so on. Soppy, teary eyed post. Truth is, it was a tough weekend....and spent mostly alone. My current main squeeze did come that Friday, we had a lovely dinner, wine and I was occupied. In the back of my mind I was counting the minutes until 12:58 am, when I had to witness and talk my dear late husband into the next level of life. But Saturday and Sunday were beyond difficult. I don't do well alone....one of my weakest most annoying features. You see, my house has always been a house of delightful chaos. Always a lot going on.....now, it was dead quiet. I wasn't able to talk to anyone, just needed someone here. Both boys working, and yes, I do have four glorious hunting dogs...but those particular days, they sensed my mood and kept their distance. 

I do still hear from the good Doctor I was dating, the divine Dr. L....he travels the world, and texts from South America, the Caribbean, Norway....wherever he lands. His trip to Texas, or was it Mexico... he walked a mile every morning to find a hot spot which to text.

Long story short....we agreed to see each other just for a quiet friendly dinner as he had something he wanted to talk over with me. I agreed, as you see...the Divine Dr. L and I have had no more than a handshake and gentle pat on the back....he is a gentleman in the true sense of the word...funny, 6' 6" tall....I look like a munchkin next to him. He is delightful, and loves my jokes.

 Well, things had changed with the main squeeze....we have had a relationship of admiration, fun, six months of on again off again....growing pains. But we do love each other....that fact just had come out the night before. I was in a quandary....my dear daughter gave me some good advice, and I gave the divine Dr. L a call to let him know things had changed in the months he had been gone. 

This made him a bit sad but he agreed it best to not go to dinner, as what he had to tell me was a bit of a surprise.....to say the least. So...what does an intellectual do? They write. What ensued was a manifesto of emotion. One I had to read several times to understand, as I had NO IDEA....either I am more daft than I think I am, or I just didn't pay attention. So, that relationship is still a strong friendship, we go to breakfast at the crack of dawn, share Black Friday stories, and laugh a lot. However....those feelings which he wrote of are not apparent in person, other than the beautiful Poinsettia plant he gave me. 

The bottom line is to expect nothing. Many of the people you will meet online or otherwise have been through a lot of experiences....most not so good. The best advice I can give is to be patient, and whether or not any relationship pans out to be forever or not...I have had that. I have been blessed with three wonderful boys...well, 2.5 as one is still going through some life lessons. He'll learn! Don't depend on someone else to make our life complete, that is entirely up to you....

til next time.....lost in Neverland.