Well, he said I couldn't use his name.....he forgot to mention a photo. (evil grin) While he is a darling, sweet, generous man, he is also one of the most complicated individuals I have ever encountered. We are, from my perspective, very dear friends. He says we are more than friends...and we are, neither of us can pinpoint exactly "what" we are. We're both middle age, both gone through some tough experiences, and the relationship complicated to define. We see each other as often as possible, but with weather and the drive, we will have less time together. When the spring comes, he'll be on the golf course....and I'll be on the lake kayaking, at the horse barn, or at the field with the dogs on sunny days. We have committed to make the time, and still have time for ourselves. I think that's what works here, being respectful and self confident enough to live our lives as partners and individuals.
When relationships are new, there are some tough hurdles when getting to know each other. Especially when two stubborn individuals set in ways of thinking find each other. While I enjoy differences, debating thoughts and current events, things can get a bit sticky. Besides, "E" doesn't like questions. I taught preschool, K4 & K5 for many years, and face it....we ask questions. In depth conversations I so enjoy are somewhat rare, but when we have them....pure gold.
I was dumped by my grief counselor, she saw no more need for us to continue. She helped me through some very tough moments, and I will be forever grateful. I am just starting to branch out and settle down. I am finding my old self, and more secure the world won't stop turning if this or any relationship wouldn't work out. I had to look within myself for that person that was once a go getter, a hardcore "enjoy each moment" person. When my husband died, it shook me to the core. Finding oneself is a difficult task for some after so many years of a particular role. Being alone difficult for some of us, and resolving oneself to learn to be alone, and still happy has finally cracked the surface. The secret is to simply look in the mirror, and give yourself time. You can't be happy with anyone else, until you are genuinely happy with yourself. And most importantly, you must have faith.
